'Only A Northern Song'

Day 45

 

Hendon Central - Heron Quays - High Barnet - Highbury & Islington - Highgate

 

An early start today, and hopefully a day on which I'll shake off the dust of the last couple of rather lacklustre journeys.

I start with Hendon Central, way up on the Edgware branch of the Northern Line.

Hendon Central

It's a rather grand looking building, Grade II Listed, with a columned portico leading to a large ticket hall. Above and around it have been added shops and offices, and the whole thing sits on one corner of what is now an extremely busy crossroads.

Hendon

At the time of building, however, the station was pretty much the only structure here, and the rest has developed over time, until the area is now a bustling suburb.

One of the roads crossing the crossroads is the A41 (which starts at Marble Arch and, should you be tempted to follow it all the way, ends up in Birkenhead) and given that we're only a few minutes from the North Circular, The A1 and it's big brother, the M1 - this means that traffic gets pretty heavy around here.

I'm mildly surprised therefore to notice that most of the crossings are above ground, and only one is via a subway. Most other junctions of this size would favour subways, surely? And why have both? Could they not make up their minds?

I stroll around the crossroads, and the fairly standard collection of shops, cafés and other establishments, before heading south east of the station to Hendon Park.

Hendon Park



Holocaust Memorial Arch

In stark contrast to the roar of traffic and constant flow of pedestrians outside the station, the park is an oasis of peace - not least because it contains a memorial garden dedicated to the victims of the holocaust, and a place of quiet contemplation.




An archway bears the Hebrew word 'lezikaron' - meaning looking forwards, but remembering the past, and I spend a peaceful few minutes here before heading back out into the hustle and bustle and my next destination.

***

At the station, before heading on, I pick up the latest copy of the Tube Map.

These are printed every 6 months or so, and include minor changes to the service (stations closed for refurbishment, etc), which would otherwise cause the unwary traveller some small inconvenience.

This latest edition, however, contains some rather radical changes to the previous maps, and in particular to the map on which I've based the entirety of the my current challenge - and I feel obliged to digress for a few moments to discuss them with you.

December 2013

The December 2013 edition of the map (shown above) was, at the time I started the Wombling Challenge, the latest edition and therefore the one I used to plan this whole shebang. On the whole it hadn't changed that much over the years leading up to it - certainly not since the development of Canary Wharf and Docklands - and other than the odd closure or minor diversion, I felt it would serve me well.

But take a look at the latest (May 2015) version.

May 2015

Now, I've known this was coming, so perhaps I shouldn't get too worked up about it, but... what on earth are they trying to do to me!!!

Not only have they suddenly decided to include a whole load of extra stations on the London Overground lines (top right - to the left of the Central Line's 'Hainault Loop') but they've also included a whole new line! The 'TFL Rail' line! (Liverpool Street to Shenfield - heading out east).

That's over thirty new stations!

Whereas previously I was proud to state that I'd visited the only two stations to reach the dizzying heights of being in Zone 9 (yes 9!!!), now they've gone and put Shenfield in a special zone all of its own, outside of zone 9! Not Zone 10 - oh no, too easy - this is unnumbered, but 'special fares apply'!

And yes - before you ask - these new additions do include some beginning with letters I've already completed and ticked off my list.

And so I've taken an executive decision.

Since I began this challenge using the December 2013 map, I'm bloody well going to stick to that map and that one alone.

If I really feel like it, I might do a sequel to the challenge some time in the future - by which time all sorts of other things like Crossrail and HS2 will probably have been thrown into the mix - but for now, I'm sticking to the 368 stations I originally said I'd visit.

***
Anyway, onto the next stop - Heron Quays.

Heron Quays

 It's on the DLR, barely 10 seconds away from its closest neighbour - Canary Wharf, to the north - and you do have to wonder at the mentality of the people who put it there.

Surely passengers, even the ever-so-important banking types that work here, can manage to walk the extra couple of hundred feet from Canary Wharf station rather than insisting on a second station so close to it?

I've barely taken two steps outside the station and I'm in the main plaza in front of Canary Wharf station.

It therefore shares almost entirely the same environs and is only really distinguished by the fact that it has an entrance to the south onto 'South Dock', as well as the one leading to 'Middle Dock', which Canary Wharf station also leads to.

Having visited Canary Wharf almost exactly a year ago I feel no burning desire to linger very long, and I jump back on the train (using Canary Wharf station this time - I just couldn't face the 'trek' back to Heron Quays...) - this time heading north on the other branch of the Northern Line, to its terminus: High Barnet.

***
Well, it's certainly high.



High Barnet

Both the station, and the town it serves (known as Chipping Barnet - aka High Barnet), lie on Barnet Hill, and are about 400 feet above sea-level. This is one of the highest areas in London, and its elevation gives it an isolated feel - like some kind of medieval walled town (only without the wall).

Barnet was the site of one of the key battles in the Wars Of The Roses, where the Earl of Warwick (The 'Kingmaker') was killed by Edward IV of York's troops. Possibly, though only tenuously, linked to this fact is the claim that Barnet Hill is the very hill up (and down) which the 'Grand Old Duke Of York' had such fun marching his 10,000 men. There seems little evidence for this, and indeed the identity of the particular Duke in question is subject to many alternative claims.

A horse fair - Barnet Fair - dating back to 1588 took place here regularly and is commemorated in the rhyming slang phrase 'Barnet', meaning hair.

It has a pleasant enough shopping street and I wander up and down (though all on one level, unlike the Duke's men) for half an hour or so.

Soon though, I feel it's time to move on, as I hope to fit two more stations into today's schedule - so I march me down again to the station, and head to Highbury & Islington.

***
Highbury & Islington is a station I got to know fairly well only a short while ago when I was appearing in a play across the road from it - in a pub theatre called the Hen & Chickens.

It's in Islington, at the other end of Upper Street from Angel tube station, and my memory stirs as I emerge from the ticket hall, and I remember the mad dash and brief glimpse I gave this station as I tried to fit in too many stations in one day, way back when I was doing the 'A's.

Highbury & Islington

Today I have a little more leisure, and - since it's a sunny day - I take myself just round the corner to a park called Highbury Fields. There are plenty of people out sunning themselves, and a funfair is being set up in the middle of the park.

Like the Hendon Park this morning, Highbury Fields is a little pocket of peace a mere couple of minutes from the hustle and bustle of Islingtonians going about their business. The station sits on a busy roundabout, but here in the park it's easy to forget that and just relax and enjoy the sunshine.

***
Only, I can't spend too much time relaxing - I'm back off up the Northern Line yet again, to my final stop - Highgate.

Highgate

This is another station built on a hill - or rather, in this case, built into a hill, as a deep cutting was made and the station located at the bottom of it.

This means that the entrance you see from the road is actually just the start of a long steep climb down to the track level. The hill is Highgate Hill, though the road at this point is called Archway Road and is part of the A1.

Highgate is, of course, famous for its cemetery - where lie the mortal remains of such luminaries as Karl Marx, George Eliot, Ralph Richardson, Michael Faraday, Stella Gibbons, Douglas Adams, Bert Jansch and - if you're interested - Jeremy Beadle.

I don't make the trek there to see it however, as it's actually closer to Archway station than to here.

Instead I walk up Archway Road a little way, past the various pubs and shops that have chosen to locate themselves here.

It seems (at first glance) an odd choice - being on such a steep hill and a road where the traffic couldn't stop, even if it wanted to. But there are a fair few residential streets off the main road, and enough of a local community to keep things ticking over here.

There's an arts centre, various cafés (including a quirky little vegetarian place, which was where we rehearsed the play I did at the Hen & Chickens - see how it all connects one way or another?) and for those who have the stamina, some green - if hilly - spaces to explore.

After a day's travelling, however, my stamina is at a fairly low ebb - so I head home, once again, wondering (not for the first time) if I'll ever reach the end of the 'H's - let alone the rest of the alphabet...

'Come Fly with Me'

Day 44

Hatton Cross - Headstone Lane - Heathrow Terminals 1,2,3 - Heathrow Terminal 4 - Heathrow Terminal 5

Since day one of this journey, one particular section of the Tube Map has regularly caught my eye as somewhere the alphabetically-minded traveller can feel very much at home. Of the eleven stations on the Heathrow branch of the Piccadilly Line, no fewer than seven are brought to you by the letter 'H' (as our friends on Sesame Street would say). Everything beyond Osterley in fact - which seems more than mere coincidence.

 

It's true that three of the stations are named after the various terminals of Heathrow airport, and three of the others are in the borough of Hounslow - but if I've learned one thing on this journey, it's that geographical proximity does not necessarily equate to alphabetical juxtaposition. Many's the planning headache given me by the christeners of London's underground stations, who - rather than giving us the sensibly alphabetical names of, for example, Acton Central, Acton East, Acton North, Acton South, Acton Town and Acton West, thus enabling me to visit them all in one day - have instead tended to put the 'north', 'south', 'west' (and so on) bits first, giving me such ridiculous itineraries as South Hampstead - South Harrow - South Kensington - South Kenton, and leaving me zig-zagging across London like a lunatic.

 

Except - for some curious reason - they haven't followed this pattern on this particular stretch of the Piccadilly Line...

 

Here we find Hounslow Central, Hounslow East and Hounslow West - conveniently adjacent both geographically and (with a minor bit of to-ing and fro-ing along the line) alphabetically. Great for my purposes, but a puzzling departure from the usual practice.

 

I'm not visiting the Hounslow Stations today, of course - they're towards the end of the 'H' section - and the Heathrow stations would be next to each other even if the word 'Terminal' came at the beginning (which would be a contradiction in terms, when you come to think about it) rather than the end of the name. It's just odd, that's all.

 

Anyway, with the minor inconvenience of a departure up to Headstone Lane, I'll be spending most of my time down here in the south-west corner of the Tube Map, and - for once - having a relatively easy time of it.

 

***

And of course, the major theme today is...

 

AIRPORTS!

 

Not only will I be visiting the various airport terminals, but my first station - Hatton Cross - is located right next to the south-eastern perimeter of Heathrow, and is the location of many of the usual hotels and other businesses that rely on the airport for their livelihoods.

 

Hatton Cross

Not that it's an especially salubrious location.

 

To quote Douglas Adams: 'It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression "as pretty as an airport"'.

 

The 24-hour neon-lit anonymity of the departure lounges, duty-free shops and check-in desks is depressing enough - but outside it's all just car-parks, hotels, freight depots and triple-carriageways.

There is, of course, the regular arrival or departure of planes to liven things up a little, but I'm not close enough here to get any really impressive photos, and - well, when you've seen one plane, you've seen them all.

I head south from the station (which is on a busy crossroads - the 'Cross' which gave it its name) towards the village - if it can be called that - of Hatton itself.

On the way, I'm surprised to find myself passing a field with grazing horses, ducks and geese.

Airport? What airport?

There doesn't seem to be any particular farm building attached to the field, and it gives the impression of having been somehow overlooked by everyone as they were busily building a whopping great airport next to it. Any day now someone's going to look round, do a double-take, and yell: "Who the %*&! left that there!!!"

Jet-propulsion and horse-power in perfect harmony.

A little further on is a quaint-ish pub called the Green Man. It looks shut when I get here (as it would be at 10.30 in the morning) and I wonder how much business they actually do - it's not exactly a tourist attraction, and the only buildings around are all freight-depots. I suspect other than a brisk lunchtime trade it's very quiet round here.



The Green Man

So, having exhausted the delights of Hatton Cross, I move on.

***
I make my way north to Headstone Lane.

Headstone Lane

This is an isolated Overground station on the way to Watford, just south of Hatch End, and in much the same way as I failed to find very much of interest at that earlier H station, Headstone Lane similarly provides little in the way of entertainment.

The road that gives the station its name is a winding affair on the outskirts of North Harrow. There are fields to the west, and a smattering of residential streets nearby, but it's to the south that I head, to the Headstone Manor Recreation Ground - and Headstone Manor itself.

It sounds like something from a Hammer Horror movie, but Headstone Manor is actually a 14th Century Manor House, famous round these parts for having the only water-filled moat in Middlesex.

Headstone Manor (to the right) and its moat.

It's a Grade I listed building, and apparently has much of interest to the student of architecture.

Headstone Manor

I can't see any of this, however, as the building is closed to the public.

The attached museum, in some old barn buildings, is also out of bounds today, as they're repairing the roof, so I leave Headstone Manor with nothing but a few photos for my trouble.

***
And so it's back south to the Piccadilly Line and the various stations serving Heathrow Airport.

Technically speaking I wasn't supposed to take any photos for some reason (probably something to do with terrorism, though quite what benefit a potential Bin Laden will gain from a photo of a fluorescent sign is beyond me) - however, I managed to grab the requisite Signage snaps with my phone.

Heathrow Terminals 1,2,3

Heathrow Terminal 4

Heathrow Terminal 5

Since they're all much of a muchness, I'll treat the stations as a 'collection' for the purposes of description - they are practically indistinguishable from one another, being on the whole grubby, white, fluorescently lit, and crowded with identical mobs of holiday-makers battling with their suitcases.

I don't seem to be able to get much beyond the ticket halls of each station, and am therefore unable to get to any useful vantage point from which to take exciting photos of planes landing and taking off.

I'm sure I remember, as a kid, coming here and being taken to the 'Observation Area' where you could watch the planes for hours. But there's no indication of such an area now - probably another victim of the heightened security post 9/11.

So that ends my journey for today.

Not altogether stimulating, I admit, and I hope that some of the later Hs have more to offer!

'A Little Time'

Day 43

 

Harrow & Wealdstone - Harrow-on-the-Hill - Hatch End

 

Although I'm posting it some time after the event, this post actually relates to a trip I made a few weeks ago - rather a whistle-stop tour, taking in a fairly compact area of North West London.

The reason for the delay in posting is that I've had only a little time to spare for Wombling in the past few weeks, as I was in rehearsal, and then performing, a play. The show went very well (thanks for asking) and is now over, which means I can return to my Wombling duties properly.

When I went out on this particular jaunt, I'd just about learnt my lines, so felt justified (particularly since the stations were all relatively close together and it was a sunny day) in taking a little time out to cross them off the list...

So - let's go back in time to the 16th April, and to my first station - Harrow & Wealdstone.

***



Harrow & Wealdstone

Harrow & Wealdstone is a combined Overground and Underground station in the Wealdstone area of the borough of Harrow. The area is named after the 'Weald Stone' - a stone marking the boundary between Harrow and Harrow Weald.

I can't say I'm overly impressed with the immediate surroundings of the station. What was once green fields is now rather drab tarmac and concrete. Other than a few kebab shops, hairdressers and mobile phone repair centres, there's not much to see or do here.

Up the road from the station is the only real bit of colour in the area - a mural painted along a length of wall, depicting various scenes - both historical and social - including a memorial to the victims of what is still the worst rail-crash to occur in peacetime in Britain.

Welcome to Wealdstone

The crash took place on the 8th October 1952, when an express train from Perth crashed into a stationary passenger train, blocking further tracks with its wreckage. Another express train crashed into the Perth train, and 112 people lost their lives, with a further 340 people reporting injuries of one sort or another.

Rail Crash Memorial

The mural, like many of its type, looks like the work of local schoolchildren, and its primary colours certainly give the area a splash of much needed vibrancy.

Harrow & Wealdstone reportedly has the highest crime rate in the Borough of Harrow, and I'm provided with ample evidence of this as I return to the station after my brief wanderings. A trio of youths are being questioned by an inordinately large number of police officers outside a kebab shop. I have no idea whether a crime has been committed or if this is prevention rather than cure, but the whole picture recalls the similar one I experienced first hand in Bounds Green, and I feel no regret about moving swiftly on to my next stop.

***
And luckily, it's just down the road. Or rather, the track.

Not the same track, sadly, so there's a bit of judicial footwork between stations to get from the one to the other, but before too long I find myself in the fairly salubrious environs of Harrow-on-the-Hill.

Or I would do, if a certain well-known private educational establishment hadn't put their oar in.

Harrow-on-the-Hill Station, though not Harrow-on the-Hill itself

I'm actually about half a mile north of Harrow-on-the-Hill, in another part of the borough called Greenhill. It appears that the Governors of Harrow School (more of which anon) objected to the original route planned for the Metropolitan Line, which would have passed more directly through the area from which this station takes its name, and so the station was built here instead.

All this means as far as I'm concerned, is that I don't fancy a half mile trek up the hill simply in order to take a few photos of boys in straw hats. Their loss.

I'll give you a few interesting facts about the school though, just in case you were thinking of sending your offspring there one day...

• The original school was founded to give free (yes, free) education to the children of the parish.
• The current Headmaster is called Jim Hawkins - no relation.
• The game of Squash was invented there, being developed from the earlier game of 'Racquets'.
• Lord Byron went to the school and once plotted to blow up his Headmaster.
• The uniform features a black tie - originally worn in mourning for Queen Victoria, no-one ever thought to instruct the boys to stop wearing it, so they've been obediently putting it on ever since.
• The hat worn by the boys is not, as is commonly assumed, a 'boater' - it is shallower and wider-brimmed. Which I'm sure makes all the difference.
• Famous  Old Harrovians include Winston Churchill, as well as six other British Prime Ministers, disgraced politician John Profumo, Terence Rattigan, Richard Brinsley Sheridan, Anthony Trollope, Benedict Cumberbatch, Richard Curtis, Edward Fox, James Fox and his son Lawrence Fox (although he was expelled because of 'something to do with a girl at a dance', as he describes it) and singer James Blunt.

***

50 Years a Borough
(not the sequel to
12 Years A Slave)

As well as the station, Greenhill has two large shopping precincts, right next door to each other - St Ann's and St George's. The two are connected by a pedestrianized area and, on a sunny day like today, it provides a pleasant place to while away a few hours of retail therapy.



At one end of the pedestrianized area is a statue of a young girl, skipping. The statue was erected to commemorate fifty years of Harrow being a Borough (though what a skipping girl has to do with that, I have no idea) and was unveiled by the Queen.





After a brief stop for lunch, and feeling I've seen all there is to see here, I move on to my final stop of the day - Hatch End.

***
Hatch End, a market town with one main street and not much else, seems in keeping with the rest of the day so far. None of the places I've visited have held my attention for very long, and Hatch End is the shortest stay of the lot.

Hatch End

There's nothing wrong with it - don't get me wrong - I'm sure it's very pleasant and that the people are all lovely. It's just that, as I stroll along The Broadway (the main street) I feel like I've seen this sort of high street hundreds of times before. It's all very nice, but all rather dull.



The Broadway - nice, but dull.

Even the ever trusty internet fails to dredge up more than a couple of interesting facts about the place.

The comedian Barry Cryer lives somewhere around here, and I suspect that it was long trundling train journeys into London which provided him and the other I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue regulars with the idea for the game Mornington Crescent. I will of course be dealing with the intricate rules of that game when I visit it's namesake station sometime in the not too distant future.

Another famous resident was the cookery writer and fore-runner to today's 'celebrity chefs' - Mrs Beeton.

Her 'Book Of Household Management' became an instant best-seller when it was released in the early 1860s - despite containing some rather odd instructions. I for one won't be boiling my pasta for the recommended hour and forty-five minutes, for example.

And that's really all I can tell you about Hatch End.

It's been an unsatisfactory day in many ways, but at least I've ticked three more stations of the list, and hopefully the next few Hs will have more to offer.

Until then, it's toodle-pip from me.

'Alphabet St.'

Day 42

Hampstead - Hampstead Heath - Hanger Lane - Harlesden - Harringay Green Lanes

We're going decidedly upmarket with our first two stations of the day, and they're also within a stone's throw of each other, which makes a nice change.

On the other hand, I wouldn't actually throw any stones around this part of town if I were you, as the cost of replacing any damaged windows - most of which bedeck the fronts of properties which, if not actually listed, are definitely 'period' and in a protected Conservation Area - would be extortionate.

Hampstead Station sits on the crossroads formed by Holly Hill (to the north), Heath Street (to the east and west) and Hampstead High Street (to the south).



Hampstead



Hampstead High Street is actually the top end of Rosslyn Hill, which in turn becomes Haverstock Hill further south, so you would be correct in surmising that Hampstead is just as elevated geographically speaking, as it is in terms of average income, social status and property value.

From the station (I don't need to point out the familiar décor, do I?) I walk down the High Street and am pleasantly surprised by the atmosphere of the place. While clearly catering to an affluent clientele, the area around the High Street manages to retain a somewhat quaint, but surprisingly welcoming, 'village-y' feel to it.

This is especially true of some of the little back streets, full of quirky little shops and - on Flask Walk for example - the occasional historic pub.



Flask Walk - and The Flask pub



The Flask pub sits on (or near) the site of the old Hampstead 'Wells' (source of a highly regarded and much imbibed mineral water. There's also a Well Walk at the other end of Flask Walk, so I imagine the exact location of the spring was somewhere between the two. In its heyday the water was as prized as that from Epsom or Buxton or - and I hadn't been aware of this before now - that which came from, and gave its name to, Tunbridge Wells. The connection now seems obvious of course, but before today I had completely missed the significance of the word Wells in Tunbridge's name.



Hampstead High Street



Back on the High Street I pass several artisan bakeries, upmarket clothes shops, and a few more familiar names like Waterstones and Starbucks. I also notice something rather peculiar about one of the side streets running off the High Street.

At first glance Willoughby Road, and more specifically the sign that informs you of its name, seems to be a fairly typical example of the local area. The street signs around here tend to be of the 'mosaic' style - in other words they are spelled out 'Scrabble-style' with individual letter tiles which are stuck onto the walls of the houses at each end of the street.

Something about the sign for Willoughby Road, however, catches the corner of my eye and I take a second, and then a third glance, before I realise what it is. The sign actually reads "WILLQUGHBY RD" - it appears that the sign-fitters ran out of the letter O and decided that a Q was a close-enough substitute.

And it's not the only street to suffer this fate. Further north, Templewood Avenue has not only had its Os replaced with Qs, but they also seem to have run out of blank tiles, so instead of a 'space' they've put a 'comma'. It's true that - in an effort to disguise the Qs they've been put in upside down, but the whole effect is really rather odd:

"TEMPLEWΌΌD,AVENUE"

***

I turn off the main road and go in search of one of the many historic houses in Hampstead, and one which now houses the Hampstead Museum.



Burgh House



Sadly the house in question - Burgh House - is closed and doesn't open its doors to the public until 12pm.

I'm reminded of the last time I tried to visit a museum in this part of town - the Freud Museum over towards the Finchley Road. That too only opened at 12pm. Perhaps this is a reflection of their location in such an affluent area - the leisured classes can't possibly be expected to do anything as strenuous as visiting a museum before luncheon...

I head on to the next station - Hampstead Heath - which sits at the bottom of the Heath which gives it its name.

Hampstead Heath

Before venturing onto the heath itself, however, I take a brief stroll around the streets near the station. This is another little 'village' of bakeries, coffee shops and pubs, and has similarly grand looking architecture.

The Royal Free Hospital dominates the area, and was one of two hospitals set up by William Marsden to provide (in the bad old days before the NHS) free healthcare to the less well-off (the other was the Royal Marsden Hospital).

On another back street is the house once belonging to the poet Keats. This is now a museum and is therefore - when I visit it - closed to the public until 1pm.

Keats' House

The house, or rather its garden, was apparently where he wrote the poem 'Ode To A Nightingale' - a jolly little piece about death that begins:



"My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains

My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,"

And goes downhill from there.

Keats wos 'ere

In any case, since the museums of Hampstead are determined to keep their doors closed to visitors, I decide to make my way to the huge area of open space called Hampstead Heath - at least they can't close that down!

The heath is vast. It's the largest area of ancient parkland in London - all 790 acres of it - and I therefore only visit a small portion of it today. I start by walking up East Heath Road to the intriguingly named 'Vale Of Health'.

My research tells me that this little road at the north end of the Heath is the site of a small hamlet originally called Gangmoor, and subsequently Hachett's or Hatch's Bottom after one of the resident cottagers. (I'm reasonably certain the word 'cottager' here is being used here in its literal sense of someone who lives in a cottage, rather than the more modern slang - though given Hampstead Heath's reputation one can never be entirely sure...)

The name Vale Of Health is actually an ironic one, since the area was very much an unpleasant boggy marsh originally. And even when people started living and working here, they did so in laundries, tanning pits, varnish factories and the like.

Vale Of Health Pond

The change of name was clearly intended to throw off such associations - and it seems to have worked as this is now one of the most expensive areas to live in Hampstead, which is saying a lot.



“This is the land of Narnia" said
the Faun, "where we are now;
all that lies between the lamp-
post and the great castle of Cair
Paravel on the eastern sea.”
C.S. Lewis



I wander along the nearest thing that could vaguely be considered a footpath, and come across the sort of lamp-post from behind which Mr Tumnus might have popped put to startle any visiting Pevensie children. I can imagine that on a snowy winter's day this place must give Narnia a real run for its money.

It's by the first of the Heath's many 'ponds' - although don't be deceived, any relationship to the two-foot diameter sunken plastic goldfish bowl jobs in most back gardens is entirely coincidental. These ponds are lakes - some for swimming, others for wildlife.

Further along I find myself on a wider path - it could even be a road - called Lime Avenue.

This cuts right across the Heath and is usually full of dog-walkers.

Lime Avenue



Hearts On The Heath

To one side of the avenue I spot some trees which have been cut down. On the exposed trunks someone has stencilled some red hearts. I take a photo as I find them interesting but I have no idea what they symbolise so if anyone can enlighten me, please do so.

Next I come to another pond - and this is one of Hampstead Heath's famous bathing ponds.

These were officially designated as bathing ponds in the late 1800s although I can't imagine they had been unused before then. There are three bathing ponds, two for single-sex and one for mixed bathing.

The one I stand next to now is the Mixed Bathing Pond, and I have to say, I'm not particularly tempted to go for a dip. I'm sure the water is lovely on a scorching hot day but right now I most definitely want to keep my clothes on.

Mixed Bathing Pond

I could of course spend hours wandering around the Heath, but that wouldn't get me very far down my list of stations, so instead I move on and make my way to the next stop on my list - and one fairly close to home for me - Hanger Lane.

***

The station sits on the island of the large multi-lane roundabout (or Gyratory System as the powers that be for some reason seem to want to call this one) that gives it its name.

Hanger Lane

The traffic is certainly the main feature around here, and you haven't really experienced the Gyratory System unless you've done it behind the wheel of a car trying desperately to negotiate the different lanes (anywhere between 4 and 8 of them) and various exits.

At its busiest it can see up to 10,000 vehicles an hour and I try to take a picture that shows the manic chaos that is pretty much the norm on the roundabout, but no still image will really do it justice.

Pick a lane, any lane...

Instead let me point you to the entry on the H2G2 website, which I think sums it up rather nicely.

I use the various pedestrian subways to get me onto the island itself, where in addition the tube station there is supposed to be a nature reserve of all things.

Nature very much in Reserve

This seems to consist of a couple of grass verges with a few trees and a smattering of daffodils - hardly the Hanging Gardens of Babylon...

A View From The Bridge
Tube tracks and motorway in perfect harmony.

The station is, as I mentioned earlier, reasonably close to home for me, and it's tempting to call it a day here and just head home.

However, it's early enough in the day that I should be able to manage at least one more and possibly even two more stations, so I set off once again, on the rather convoluted route to Harlesden.

***

Harlesden is on the Bakerloo and the Overground lines and is in the North West of London pretty much due north of Hanger Lane.

To get there from Hanger Lane however requires a journey into town on the Central Line, changing at White City to walk to the Circle Line station at Wood Lane, where you get a train to Paddington, change onto the Bakerloo Line, and finally end up at Harlesden.

Harlesden

And when you get there you wonder why you bothered.

The station itself is actually nowhere near the centre of Harlesden and is in fact on Acton Lane - a fairly nondescript road which joins the industrial area of Park Royal with the slightly less industrial area of Harlesden.

The road does cross the Paddington Arm of the Grand Union Canal, but that's really in Park Royal rather than Harlesden, and to get to Harlesden town centre would take a good half hour on foot.

So after a disappointingly brief visit, I move on to my final destination today - also on the Overground Line.

***

Harringay Green Lanes

Harringay Green Lanes - for such is the name of the station - is on the road called Green Lanes, in the area of London known as Harringay.

Or is it?

Could it instead - as the bus stop next to the station would have it - be the station of Haringey Green Lanes, in the London Borough of Haringey?

I can understand - at a push - the fact that a chap called Haering (a saxon chief) had a 'Hege' - or 'enclosure' - in this area called Haeringes-Hege, and that over time this was corrupted into both Haringey (the London Borough) and Harringay (the district within the London borough) as well as - less obviously perhaps - another district called Hornsey.

I can also - just about, though it's stretching my understanding to its very limits - forgive the successive town councils who, having once decided that Harringay and Haringey were two separate entities, refused to make life easy for everyone once and for all by just spelling them the same way.





That's what town councils are for, after all.

Haringey Green Lanes

What baffles the bejeesus out of me is how anyone with any sense whatsoever can allow a station called Harringay Green Lanes to have a sign saying Harringay Green Lanes outside it, while a few feet away a bus stop is telling everyone they're at a station called Haringey Green Lanes!

Or maybe - like Hampstead - they just ran out of the right letters...

Under the railway bridge (which tells us that an unspecified 'it' is coming) is the site of the former Harringay Arena - now a retail park.

Yes, but what's coming exactly..?

Here I find the usual selection of shops and restaurants, but little else to interest me. I stop for a coffee in the Costa Coffee and wait for whatever it is that's supposed to be 'coming' - but it seems not to be due any time soon.

Maybe it got lost in all the confusion over place names.

'Ain't Nothin' Goin' On But The Rent'

Day 41

 

Hackney Central - Hackney Wick - Haggerston - Hainault - Hammersmith

 

The sun is shining once again as I set off on my journey this morning - could it finally be heralding the start of Spring I wonder?

 

On the other hand, we do still have April - with its traditional showers - ahead of us, so we're probably not (ahem) home and dry just yet.

 

It's also the first day of my foray into the H section, and oh boy there are a lot of them. Whereas the letter G had a mere 13 stations to visit, there are 36 Hs - the most for any letter so far. Admittedly a fair few of them - including the first couple on my list - are in little regional 'pockets', so perhaps it won't take me as long as I fear to visit them all.

 

***

We start off with Hackney Central, on the north-eastern stretch of the Overground line. This means a couple of changes - from Central to Victoria, and then onto the Overground - before I even get there.

 

The station is tucked away from the main street - Mare Street - and, like several on the Overground, is elevated.

 



Hackney Central



Hackney Central is - as the name suggests - the central area of Hackney Borough, which also includes areas like Stoke Newington, Hoxton, Shoreditch and Homerton. The original Hackney Village, from which it grew, was the area around the main road, then called Church Street, but which is now called Mare Street.

 

From Tudor times up until the early 1800s the area was apparently a fashionable rural retreat, and Henry VIII even had a palace here. Then as the industrial revolution took hold and the area became more and more built up, its fortunes declined and it's now seen, perhaps unfairly, as one of London's less salubrious areas.

 

On the other hand it still attracts a diverse range of visitors, particularly to one of its main landmarks - the Hackney Empire.

 



Hackney Empire - original entrance



A former music hall, where Charlie Chaplin, Stan Laurel, WC Fields, Marie Lloyd and Stanley Holloway once trod the boards, it's now a Grade II Listed Building and following brief stints as a bingo hall and TV studios, these days it's a successful and respected theatre space. It was designed by a chap called Frank Matcham, who also designed many other London and regional theatres, including The Coliseum, The Palladium, The Hippodrome and Richmond Theatre.

 

The redeveloped Empire

 

Further south is the Town Hall, and council buildings, which contain the Hackney Museum.

 

Free to the public, and I would guess primarily aimed at children, it houses an eclectic collection of exhibits of everything from eel pie baking tins, to Hackney's first (hand-pumped) fire engine.

 



Hand-pumped fire engine

 



History of immigration

Daniel Defoe - who
lived in the area

Home Appliances



 

I enjoy the brief wander through the museum but since it's not very large it only takes me ten or fifteen minutes to make my way round it. Back outside, Hackney seems to be a relatively quiet place - at least today - and having seen what the area south of the station has to offer, it's not long before I'm heading northwards again to see another bit of local history, and Hackney's oldest building - St Augustine's Tower.

 

St Augustine's Tower

The tower which currently stands in the grounds of St John's Church dates from the 16th Century, although the original church which once stood here was built in the 13th Century.

 

The church was rebuilt and expanded over the years until in the late 18th Century it was pulled down (apart from the tower of course which still housed the church bells) to be rebuilt at a new site to the north - the current St John's Church.

 

Today it's all shut up, so after a pause to take a photo, I decide to move on from Hackney Central and have a look at Hackney Wick.

 

 

***

Hackney Central, as I have mentioned, was once called Hackney Village.

 

Hackney Wick, which lies some distance to the east, and is separated from it by the area known as Homerton, could theoretically also be called Hackney Village - since that's what Wick (or in some cases Wich) actually means. It's the same word that appears in such place names as Berwick, Chiswick, Keswick and so on, and in it's alternative form as Norwich and Greenwich.

 

Which seems a little odd when you think about it, as that would mean there were once two separate Hackney Villages, about 2km apart.

 

Of course, one of them was technically called the 'village', and the other the 'wick' - but isn't that rather splitting hairs? I mean, I might call it mashed potato and you might call it Pommes Purées - but it's still a load of brown lumpy things squashed up on a plate.

Or is it like North and South Korea? Are they all sat there planning to send large thermonuclear devices into each others' back yards...?

***



Hackney Wick

Hackney Wick sits between Victoria Park - a large area of open parkland - to the west, and the more recently developed Olympic Park (for the 2012 games) to the east. Since the latter is more readily associated with Stratford tube station (which thanks to the games is now Stratford International station), I'm going to leave my exploration of the Olympic Park until I get to the 'S's.

Instead I wander through the erstwhile industrialised streets of the Wick, marvelling at the quality and variety of graffiti (or perhaps it should be called 'street art') I see on practically every brick surface.

Some graffiti

The area seems to have become a bit of a haven for artists in recent years, as they take over derelict factories and turn them into studios of one kind or another.

Some more graffiti

Is it the same artists working inside the buildings as the ones decorating the outside, I wonder? Or are the ones inside on the phone to the council every day about the 'defacement' of their property?

Given the sheer scale of most of the artwork - which clearly took some time and not a little physical agility to complete - I have to assume that it's all been officially sanctioned. I can't really see the local bobby failing to notice the ladders, ropes and scaffolding which must have been employed to create these murals.

And some more graffiti

I head next into Victoria Park, which is a fairly standard - though nevertheless pleasant example of the sort of inner city park dotted around London. The landscape is mainly flat and open grassland - with a few games areas marked out - but there are trees enough around the perimeter and various points of interest to discover if you so wish - which of course I do.



London Bridge Alcoves

By the north-east gate, which is where I enter the park, there are two huge stone alcoves standing sentinel over the rest of the park.

 

These come from the original stone-built London Bridge (there had of course been previous wooden-built bridges) which was built over 33 years from 1176 and stood for over 600 years. As well as the alcoves (of which there were 14 along its length) the bridge was almost a small village, with houses and shops, often several storeys tall lining its length.

When the old bridge was demolished in 1831 the alcoves were saved, and donated 'for the use of the public' in 1860.

Alcove Interior

 

A notice by the alcoves gives their history and quotes a contemporary source, who suggested that their clever construction and positioning gave them a curiously useful acoustic property, as follows:

'So just are there proportions, and so complete and uniform their symmetry, that, if a person whispers against the wall on the one side of the way, he may be plainly heard on the opposite side; and parties may converse without being prevented by the interruption of the street or the noise of carriages.'

Since the two here face into the park, rather than toward each other, it's impossible to test the theory, but I like the idea of this early form of telephonic communication.

Rather like Hackney Central, however, I feel after only a short time that I've seen all there is to see here, and so make my way back to the station to begin the slightly convoluted journey to my next stop - Haggerston.

***

Haggerston, like both Hackney Central and Hackney Wick, is on the Overground Line. Unlike them however, it is on the branch heading south towards Crystal Palace and Croydon. This means I have to travel back west towards Highbury & Islington (although I actually change at Canonbury) and then swap lines to head south instead of east.

Haggerston

The station is relatively new - being opened in 2010 - but its vaguely familiar 'blocky' design is very definitely a nod to the work of Charles Holden.

Having already been mildly disappointed with the two places I've so far visited today - very pleasant and all that, but not much really going on - I'm sad to say Haggerston doesn't offer much more in the way of diversion.

In fact, other than being the birthplace of the astronomer Edmond Halley, the only thing the area seems to have going for it is the fact that it nestles on the Regent's Canal, and has a little mooring for narrow-boats called Kingsland Basin which does at least add a splash of colour to the area.



Regent's Canal

I wander down to the canal (ever wary, of course, after my towpath-based adventures in Bounds Green) and discover a quiet but pleasant stretch of waterway to stroll along.



Kingsland Basin

Well, I say 'quiet' - it's certainly true that the decibel count is fairly low here, but at this time of day you do have to dodge and weave your way through a plague of lunchtime-joggers of almost biblical proportions - and that's before the cyclists get going...

As I walk back up to the station I hear something I've not previously heard anywhere in London - perhaps surprisingly, given the ethnic make-up of many of the areas I've been to. From the top of the nearby Suleymaniye Mosque's minaret, comes the sound of a Muezzin calling the faithful to prayer.

Whenever I've heard it on documentaries or TV shows, I've always found the call to prayer to be a curiously pleasant sound - despite not having the slightest interest in the religion it represents - so I'm quite happy to let it waft over me as I walk back along the main road. I'm just surprised to realise that I don't think I've heard it from any other mosques I've happened to walk past.

If, like me, you've ever wondered what the Muezzin is actually calling, you're in luck as thanks to my friend Mr Google I can enlighten you today:

"Allah is most great. I testify that there is no god but Allah. I testify that Mohammed is the prophet of Allah. Come to prayer. Come to salvation. Allah is most great. There is no god but Allah."

Each phrase is repeated varying numbers of times and for those who struggle with their early morning devotions, there's the rather charming addition of the words "Prayer is better than sleep" in the first call of the day.

***

But again, no sooner have I got here than I feel like I've seen everything the place has to offer - and I'm heading back to the station, back north on the train, to change once again at Canonbury onto the eastern branch of the Overground Line to Stratford, to change again there onto the Central Line towards Hainault.

***

Hainault, is of course on the Hainault Loop - that portion of the Central Line I've so far found so strangely unfulfilling every time I've visited one of its stations.

I wish I could say that Hainault manages to surprise me and that my mind is changed about this part of London - but sadly not.

Hainault

The station is pretty much the only point of interest on a very long, very straight, and very dull stretch of road called New North Road. The road disappears off into the distance in both directions, interrupted only by the occasional petrol station or newsagent, and even looking on the map there seems to be nothing much further afield worth looking at.

In fact the only thing I might have been tempted by - if it wasn't so far away - is Hainault Forest. It's a good 2km off down the road, and without knowing much more about what I might find there, I really can't bring myself to undertake the obviously dull walk there and back.

I think the thing that gets me about these places is that none of them seem to have any sort of 'hub' or 'centre'. Most places, it seems to me, grow outwards from a main street or shopping area - but that doesn't appear to be the case here. There are shops, but they seem to have been plonked down haphazardly wherever it took the owner's fancy.

So, after the briefest of wanderings up and down outside the station, I head westwards again - but this time towards what I do at least know to be a more lively part of town.

***

Ah, Hammersmith...

Hammersmith - people! shops! life!

Ok, so it's not the Hanging Gardens of Babylon - but at least there's a bit of life here!

And actually, of course, it does see its fair share of the great and the good, since it's the home to one of the most famous live music and comedy venues in London - the Hammersmith Apollo (but more of that anon).

I arrive in Hammersmith on the Piccadilly Line, which means I emerge from the station which is contained in the Hammersmith Broadway Shopping Centre (see photo above). A separate station, which is a terminus for the Hammersmith & City and Circle Lines, is a short distance away on Beadon Road.

Hammersmith's other station

What is odd is that, on the back of my now rather battered and dog-eared copy of the tube map, there is only one station listed in Hammersmith, not two. Astute readers may remember that, when I was contemplating my visit to Edgware Road's brace of eponymous stations (which can hardly be much farther apart than those in Hammersmith) I spent some little time deliberating as to whether to treat them separately or not. In the end, since they served different tube lines from separate buildings, I decided I couldn't in all conscience treat them as a single entity.

Which is exactly the case here in Hammersmith - so I'm a little puzzled as to why Transport For London, in publishing and printing its maps for the tube travelling masses, thinks it can get away with it, if I can't!

The Lyric Theatre

Around the corner from the second station (second - got that TFL? - different, other, not the same!!!) is my second theatre of the day (or perhaps all London's theatres should be considered as just one venue, eh TFL?......... alright, I'll stop now - but you get my point...).

The Lyric Theatre's original building was designed and built by the same man as the Hackney Empire - Frank Matcham. That building was closed in 1966, but was carefully dismantled and rebuilt on a new site nearby. It re-opened in 1979.

 

In front of the theatre is a small piazza which - especially in summer months - is heaving with Frappuccino drinking office staff.

 

 

A little farther south, on an otherwise anonymous pedestrian crossing island on Queen Caroline Street, is a black cast-iron bench, bearing a small plaque.

 



'Rik Mayall's Bench'



This is a replacement for a wooden bench that stood here previously, and was featured in the opening credits to the BBC comedy 'Bottom' starring Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson.

 



Plaque to Rik Mayall



Following Rik Mayall's untimely death last year, thousands of fans petitioned to have the bench replaced, and it has become something of a shrine to the late comedian, with letters, photos, and at one time even a pair of grubby 'Bottom-esque' underpants hung around the railings.

 

The Rik Mayall 'Shrine'

South of the bench, under the shadow of the Hammersmith flyover - an elevated section of the A4 - is the concert venue now known as the Eventim Apollo. Depending on your age-bracket, however, you might know it more familiarly as the Hammersmith Apollo, the Carling Apollo, the Labatt's Apollo, the Hammersmith Odeon, The 'Hammy-O', or even the Gaumont Palace (though you'd have to be getting on a bit to remember that name).

 

The 'Hammy-O'

Most big names in music have played here at one time or another including Buddy Holly, The Beatles, David Bowie, Elton John, Queen, Bruce Springsteen, Thin Lizzy, The Who, Dire Straits, Blondie, Duran Duran,  Tears For Fears, Culture Club, Kylie, and many more. And it's not just rock stars who come here - comedy stars who haven't yet succumbed to the lure of huge arenas like the O2 can often be seen performing here.

 

Further south again is the river, crossed by Hammersmith Bridge - a suspension bridge designed by Sir Joseph Bazalgette.

 



Hammersmith Bridge



The bridge, though not an especially vital transport link, has nevertheless been the subject of various terrorist attacks over its lifetime, from a bomb in a suitcase in 1939 (discovered by a passer-by and thrown into the river just before it exploded) to the only marginally more successful bomb set off by the 'Real IRA' in the early hours of June 1, 2000.

 

As it happens, my wife Mrs Nowhere Man used to own a house-boat which was moored just a few yards away from the bridge, and was actually staying on it on the night the bomb went off.

 

Not that, at the time, it was a particularly harrowing event for her, as it seems she pretty much slept through most of the excitement. Having had one or two* drinks the evening before, she was sleeping fairly soundly when the explosion occurred at around 4.30am. She did wake up and (in modern parlance) thought 'WTF?!' - but in the absence of any further information promptly fell back to sleep again.

 

It was only when she got up for work the next morning and had to do a kind of hundred metre hurdles over several sections of police tape, that she discovered what had happened.

 

(* - the exact amount is lost in the mists of history, but clearly must have been enough to mask the cacophony of dozens of emergency sirens, boat-dwellers being evacuated, and startled birdlife that presumably filled the air that morning.)

 

***

Just before I head back to the station, on a jetty under the bridge, I spot a guitar-player strumming merrily away. I wonder if he's playing 'Bridge Over Troubled Water'...

 

Water Music